2003 to 12-27-2009
Dale and I are adopting a child. The Lord laid it on Dale’s heart, then mine and Rachel’s in late-December 2009. It is something we know that we’ve been led to do. We have not begun the process as of today but we know that there is a child, probably of a different race and potentially from another country, who is already born and who we are being led to nurture and love. Here’s how we came to know this is God’s plan for our family.
First, for years, Rachel and I would sometimes listen to Focus on the Family in the morning commute. We especially enjoyed testimonials about what God has done in people’s lives. Several years ago, we heard a story about the need for foster parents for infants who are being put up for adoption. They indicated that sometimes the baby is in the home for a few days, other times for a few weeks. We were quite moved and I even felt strong enough about it to discuss the idea with Dale. He immediately knew he couldn’t do that. He talked about how quickly he attaches and said that his heart couldn’t take getting close to a child then let them go. Knowing him as I do, that made complete sense and I respected his response. Yet the feeling that we had some part to play in a child’s life didn’t go away for me and Rachel. We continued to pray about it.
About a year later, Serra Lowe, a 21 year old student at church, was returning to Hueytown from college. Her parents had divorced and she was displaced in the process. Over time, God began moving on all of our hearts to bring Serra into our home. We acknowledged that we had room and that we felt we could be that temporary home she needed. Serra reluctantly agreed and moved in our home and took up residence in Rachel’s bedroom in late-August 2005. She planned to be there for only a few weeks and expected she wouldn’t even be around much while she was there. We didn’t mind either way, we just wanted her to know she was welcome. It wasn’t long until Serra was a part of our family. We treated her as such as she did us as well. She and Rachel were like sisters, down to the bickering over chores, television, clothes and life in general. We eventually dismantled the computer room and used it as Serra’s bedroom. Rachel moved back into her own room.
Serra and Rachel occasionally would have a conversation about how they would love to have an Asian little sister. Our reply would be that we weren’t Asian and that I was not capable of having more children. They would laugh and say that they would still like it. Rachel would normally say something about how God could make it happen. Then she would say that she would pray about it. It was not anything we ever gave another thought to.
Serra lived with us for four years. Then in 2009 she met a fine young man through some mutual friends. He was a perfect match for Serra. On December 19, 2009, we watched Serra become Mrs. Patrick Wakefield. Once her things were gone and the bedroom she occupied empty, there was something in me that felt undone. Every time I walked past Serra’s bedroom I would peer in and feel uneasy. It was like that room had something to say. I finally walked in there one day and boldly asked God out loud, “What? What is it you want me to do with this room? Does this need to be the study again? Is it a room we need to use for Bible study or prayer? What is it?” I had previously used that room for my Bible study and prayer sanctuary. I got no answers to my questions, but I knew I eventually would. There was definitely something going on with that room.
In December 2009, Dale and I went as chaperones on a youth retreat with Hueytown Baptist Church in Gatlinburg, TN. Our group was participating in the Strength to Stand Conference by Scott Dawson Ministries. The first day of this trip is always draining due to the early morning departure and traveling several hours with a large group of teenagers. We were beat before the event even began. Yet the moment worship began we forgot how tired we were and began experiencing the joy of corporate worship with a few thousand young people. It was easy to sense the presence of the Holy Spirit in the building.
Audio Adrenaline was performing a concert at the event that night. They came on stage to set up the theme of the weekend and began talking about making a stand as a believer and sharing your life with others. They introduced us to the Hands and Feet orphanage in Haiti. The lead singer, Mark Stuart, told a moving story about a baby born in Haiti. This particular little girl was born in an outhouse and disposed of there by being thrown down the pit. Thankfully, a boy had seen the pregnant teen enter, then later leave the outhouse. He knew what she has done and began seeking help to rescue the baby. The story was told with the perspective of helping us understand the power of redemption. How God pulls us out of the muck we are living in and gives us a brand new life. This real life story ended with a video of the little girl being pulled from the well by the National Guard and local townspeople. Then they flashed a picture of the little girl, pigtails and a huge grin as she celebrated her first birthday. It was a beautiful and very moving picture of redemption. I cried. I think everyone did. But Dale was visibly moved for the remainder of the night.
A couple of hours later, after worship and a keynote speaker, Audio Adrenaline set up and began to perform their concert. We were tired and the music was loud. Teenagers were ready to jump, dance and mildly mosh pit the stage so Dale and I stepped out and walked around the atrium. There were tables set up with books, music, t-shirts and other items, plus a Compassion International table. As we walked past Compassion, I had my hand draped inside Dale’s arm, and I felt his whole posture change. I asked him if he had stopped at that table during a prior break. He shook his head yes. Our daughter Rachel has sponsored a girl for three years, so I asked if he felt led to sponsor another child. He said no. I looked at him and asked, “What is it then?” He pulled me aside to a quiet corner of the atrium, away from the immediate traffic and shared something spectacular.
Dale has very strong faith and is a prayer warrior. But it’s important to know that faith doesn’t come easily for him. We believe because God knows it is not easy for Dale, He sometimes speaks very clearly and boldly to him. One occasion was on December 27, 2009 when Dale heard God say, “You are going to adopt a kid.”
As I asked Dale what had his thoughts so captured, I never expected to hear that news. As soon as he spoke it out loud everything changed. Each time God has spoken so boldly to Dale, it has been about something that would require complete obedience. So the plan was in motion and we knew it. We experienced a really personal example of John 16:13, “But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you in all truth. For he will not speak on his own authority, but will speak whatever he hears. And will tell you what is to come. We both knew we would have to work to get our hearts and minds in line with his will. But already, we both knew that we would choose to be obedient and do the work necessary to see His promise.
Immediately after Dale told me what God had said, I saw myself standing in that bedroom asking God what it was about that room that he wanted me to know. There in the atrium the Holy Spirit told me there was a soul for that room. I was so excited at the confirmation that I blurted it out to Dale without any hesitation. His response was priceless. In typical Dale style he spoke honesty and said, “That is not what I wanted you to say.” He confessed all he wanted to hear were the reasons why adoption was not a good idea. The reality and the fear of this news had already set in. To say we felt vulnerable is a severe understatement. We just stared at one another, hugged and cried for a bit. The whole experience was in many ways very similar to the moment we found out we were expecting Rachel.
Within hours we both knew that our child was another daughter and that she was from another country and of another race. Why? We’re not sure. That is something we will know in time. Maybe because God showed me that my ministry is to help teen girls and young adult women. Maybe it was because my friend Cathy Sims and I, before her untimely death, talked about starting a ministry that dealt with diversity and racism issues. Maybe because Dale is a 100% devoted, tender and loving father to girls. Even years before we had Rachel he wanted to have a girl named Rachel. He’s never seen himself with a son. Maybe it is for all of those reasons and others we will understand years from now.
As you can see, over time we’ve come to understand that hearing God speak to us at the youth retreat was simply the moment He chose to reveal His adoption plan to us. He had already been doing work for years to get us ready to actually accept the reality of His plans.
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