6-5-12 How things are going...

It’s unbelievable but we've had Bella for ten weeks yesterday. We wanted to give you an update on how we are doing and specifically on how Bella is adjusting, her eating habits, and our communications and, last but not least, her health.

Since arriving home Bella’s has become well acquainted with our home, her room and toys, the bathtub (her favorite place), and our family pet, Luther. She loves to blow bubbles outside, swing, let you push her around on her bicycle and color the sidewalks with chalk. Anytime we are out she eventually says, “Let’s go home. Play with Lutha.” She loves to give him a run for his money!

Bella's pallet has become more and more Americanized every day. Initially, she ate green beans or other veggies for breakfast. She even preferred them cold and would drink the veggie juice too. It was not too appetizing to watch first thing in the morning! Now she will eat some cereals but mostly eggs and bacon for breakfast. She will eat about a fourth of a bagel with cream cheese if offered. Like most American kids she has been bitten by the McDonald's bug. She loves their chicken nuggets and hamburgers which she calls a "hambo". She’s never a big fan of French fries. Noodles are no longer requested daily although she will eat up some spaghetti. She still prefers to eat her noodles with chop sticks. Occasionally, she eats bread but would rather have meat or veggies. She also eats at least one banana a day, usually two. Her appetite is healthy and she has gained two pounds in ten weeks.

Our communication is going very well and Bella understands 90% of what we say. It's been amazing to see how fast she learns English. Some of her most common phrases are, “Just a minute, I’ll be right back!”, “Oh no!” or “Oh my goodness!” She also says “Bella do it!” or “I can do it!” several times a day. She talks a lot in short sentences and sometimes tells long stories in a mixture of English and Cantonese. We understand about 75% of what she says the first time. With a second try or hand motions we can usually figure out everything she says. If she can't explain she says, "I don't know..." and moves on to something else. Rarely is she ever frustrated over language challenges. Some things are hard to translate clearly however. Some examples are shoes she calls “shoes on” and toothbrush she calls “brush your teeth”. When she’s hungry she looks at you and says, “Are you hungry?” Of course we know exactly what she means so we repeat the correction and keep going.

As for her health… that’s a lengthier update. First, let us tell you that Bella is doing well. She is under good care with the Hematologist at Children’s Hospital. Dr. Hilliard has been perplexed by her diagnosis of Thalassemia Beta-major because she has not shown the bone structure changes in her face. She kept telling us, “This just doesn’t add up…” Due to Bella being transfused it was impossible to get a test on just her blood for analysis. However, we were successful in obtaining her original blood tests from China. Those would have been done by the doctors at the orphanage right after she was abandoned and would show just Bella’s blood. Dr. Hilliard also sent some cells to Boston for gene testing and a clear diagnosis. Just last week those results came back and we received an unexpected blessing of a new diagnosis of Thalassemia beta-intermediate, not major! That means she eventually may not need as many transfusions and could actually live without them.

Since arriving home, we’ve been on a schedule of transfusing her blood every three weeks. However, her spleen is enlarged because it is producing blood. Blood should only be produced in your marrow but her body has started creating blood other places just to compensate. We are trying to get ahead of her spleen and moving to a two week schedule in hopes of her spleen shrinking back down. If it doesn’t slow down the doctor will want to remove her spleen and put her on a daily antibiotic. We are praying her spleen does shrink down with the new schedule.

Bella does very well with the transfusions. She never cries over the needles and usually doesn’t even grimace or respond at all, just watches quietly. Her veins are scarred and broken and the nurses don’t like to IV her. They always call for the IV specialist. Bella still doesn’t mind however, due to the condition of her veins, they are recommending we do a port so they can easily get into her vein. She will have another transfusion on next Thursday and outpatient surgery next Friday for the port. Transfusions usually take from 8:00am-2:30pm and Bella watches cartoons, colors, plays and talks the whole time. She’s such a tough cookie! We expect she will do well recovering from the port surgery too.

We have experience so many blessings, many unexpected, over the past several weeks. Our bonds with her are tight and as are her bonds with us. It feels like we’ve known her so much longer than we actually have.

Bella continues to be very independent, feisty, energetic, giggly and fun. She seems to love her life here and we couldn’t be happier to have her. We still covet your prayers as we work to get her to improved health and adjusted to life here with us.  

To God Be The Glory, Great Things HE Has Done!

Finally, we begin the journey home in a few hours. We are so glad to leave China. We belong in Alabama and we are excited to get Bella acquainted with the family and friends. Rachel was just talking about how God spoke that we would adopt a child to Dale then to me and Rachel on a youth trip in 2009. It's pretty amazing to think back on all that has transpired to make it happen. There were times when we weren't sure it ever would. A few times we wondered if we heard Him right. No questions today. We definitely were meant to be family with Bella. Now, we just can't believe we've all been so blessed. God's love is indescribable and he truly does want us to care for the widows and orphans. He is Father to the fatherless just like He is to all of us who know and love Him. Praising His Name as we pack and prepare to leave China and journey back to America.

God bless you all and we will see you quickly!

We are officially a four member family!

Today was our consulate appointment. It went very smoothly. We, along with 12 other American families had 8:30am appointments. We all swore an oath then each family went to a window when called. There they looked to make sure your child matched their pictures, reviewed your paperwork then smiled and said, "All is good. Congratulations on your adoption." What a great feeling to realize the journey to make Bella officially ours had ended. tomorrow they give us her Chinese passport which is good for only one trip, the one where we leave China. She will become an American citizen in the Chicago O'Hare Airport when we go through immigration. It feel unbelieveable to be at the end and so close to home. Two more nights and we land in Sweet Home Alabama with our two beautiful daughters.

We can't wait to let you all meet and soon get to know Bella. She's a lot of fun and energy! Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement throughout this journey. We could never had made it without prayers. God constantly reassured us, and He continues today. We still have a long way to go to teach Bella how to understand what we are saying, our expectations and what values we treasure. We look forward most to sharing with her the joys of knowing Jesus Christ as her personal Lord and Savior. Please continue to pray for us when you think of us in the upcoming days, weeks and months.

For our friends who have just begun the adoption process...We are so excited for you. The journey is not easy but it is so very worth it. We will be your cheerleaders and supporters in all that you do to raise funds and support for your new child. We love you!

Free days

Today is another free day. Lily has two other families who are a week behind us and in the really busy days. She felt bad she couldn't do nothing with us these few days. We were glad at first because we had been anything with us but we didn't mind because we had been running for nine full days with appointments and adventures. However, this island is really small and we've seen and done it all several times. We would welcome another adventure but we'll manage.

It has been an interesting couple of days. Shamain Island is like a big city park surrounded by 200 year old buildings. The architecture has a strong French influence and a most opulent use of marble. The huge trees casting a canopy over the whole place make it seem even older. The island was alive with activity yesterday due to the holiday. People were walking, exercising, taking pictures, playing badminton, riding bicycles and advent napping, really just about anything to be outside.

Bella is actually still when there is a lot of activity going on around her. She can be very content watching people. That's interesting considering her brain is always moving as she tries to come up with new ways to play and do when we are in our hotel room. We wonder what she will be like when we get home and she has a room of her own and multiple rooms to explore.

We have made a list of things we notice about Bella's personality. Some of the things we've noted are that she is feisty and independent to the point it has to be impossible for her to submit and ask for help. Even then she may decide to give it another try once you get her over the current obstacle. Although independent she easily capable of dressing herself and putting her shoes on she would prefer the opportunity to play and let you do it for her. She may just choose to make getting dressed a game.

Bella has the face of an angel but the willpower of a tiger. Her personality is larger than life and she smiles easily and giggles all the time. Bella is also as sneaky as a spy and requires a close eye if she gets quiet while exploring. If we cant find something electronic or a bottle of coke the best place to start looking is under her pillow. She doesn't often enjoy sharing, although that is improving. She is tough as nails and shows no fear of anything as of yet. Again, that means keeping a close eye on her.

Trusting us seems to have come easily for her while we also notice she is trusting us more each day. We believe that trust we see is the answer to so manly prayers that her heart would be soft toward us. We don't know what to expect her to be like around our friends and family but we don't think it will take her long to transition and bond with others.

One thing we recognize is that Bella is everything you expect from a four year old. That is a tremendous blessing. Another little girl we've met named Chloe is only eight months younger than Bella. She was in an orphanage since birth and just united with her forever family a couple of days before Bella. In size and physical ability we would have guessed her to be around two years old. She doesn't speak at all yet but she does respond when you call her name. When we spoke and waved to her she would turn her head away if she began to smile. So shy. It was easy to see that, with some time and attention, there was a typical four year old inside her waiting to bloom. Bella was an encouragement to her parents who waited eight years to get her. We talked with them a good while about parenting and promised to be praying for them all.

This morning we went to the playroom after breakfast so Dale could get some much needed sleep. While there another four year old Chinese girl and her mama came in. The mom spoke a little English. Bella was shy at first but the other little girl made her feel comfortable and they played together for about an hour. She shared, took turns and played well. They talked together as they played. I'm sure that was some much needed Chinese communication for her just like Americans are for us. It was fun to watch them together.

 

A few random pics and some others from our day at the Safari zoo

Bella loves spaghetti... excuse the table manners!

A rest day and a day at the Guangzhou Safari Zoo

We had a day off on Saturday. After breakfast Rachel and I worked in our room. It had become a mess with four open suitcases toys, and a pile of dirty clothes. We sorted through the clothes and decided what we would take to the laundry. Laundry services are provided by almost every store on the island and they all advertise 40% off. We chose Jessica's because it had been recommended to us by former adoption travelers. We stopped at Subway for lunch on the way back. You don't get exactly what you ask for but it's really a traditional shop just like at home, except for the warm soft drink.

Bella played all day and watched a video we bought at the mall for her. It's called something like "Happy Sheep" and she laughs at it and talks back through the whole thing. She will say something then turn to look at us and laugh. She's so stinking cute! She also watches the movie trailer for "Despicable Me" on the iPad and loves it. She has watched it over and over and over again.

Bella is very smart. She loves electronics and is very quick to figure out games. She's a pro at fruit ninja and has some sweet moves for a 4 year old. I also had downloaded some matching games and she's great at memorizing where each match is located. She likes to win! One of her favorite songs on her "so gee" is "All I Do Is Win." She certainly loves music. She has four songs that she plays over and over. Repeatedly we hear Lil Wayne, Adele, Taylor Swift and Colbie Caillat. By far, "Fallin for You" is her favorite and we will never hear it without thinking of China. It has been the background music to so many of our experiences here.

On Sunday we went with two other families to the Safari Zoo. One family was from Ohio and they adopted a 17 month old boy named Benjamin. His Chinese name was Fen Fen so they were calling him Fen Ben, then Ben Ben. He looked tough and had a stocky build. He was very serious but when he smiled his while face squeezed into a smile. So cute!

The other family was from Indianopolis. Dad, Pat and 9 year old son, Evan made the trip to get their new 9 year old son from China. He was with them for 44 hours. Pat said he had some emotional problems that made it impossible for him to bond. He said this was somethingnthey should have been told about in advance. Pat said those 44 hours were terrible. As much as they wanted to love and provide a family for him, they knew it was best for him to go back to the orphanage. So they sent him back. He said as foster parents they were taught first to protect your current family. He said one broken child can break another and he knew that would be the case if they didn't let go. Pat is a strong Christian and is handling it well although it was visibly hard for him to talk about. Evan talked a lot but said nothing when his dad explained that experience. It was obvious he was trying to process what to do with that kind of disappointment.

It made me sick at my stomach to think about what Pat and Evan and his wife and daughter (adopted from Russia last year) were sorting through. I was reminded of our scare that we were going to run out of time and lose Bella as our match. We all tried to be strong but our hearts were already so attached and in love with her. It was too heavy to process at that time. Today, I stopped and said yet another prayer to God of thanksgiving and His deliverance to bella in this journey.

On a lighter note, the safari zoo was awesome! If captured animals could choose where to be held they would pick here. Every exhibit was like the animals natural habitat. They boast over 20,000 animals in the zoo side plus several hundred others in the safari side. They even had eleven pandas spread out over a large habitat several hundred yards long. In a koala exhibit you could go on a stage and pet a koala while it sat on a branch and ate leaves. Only one volunteered and she had pictures taken by her mom for 10 minutes while st petted and caresses the koala. We tried to get Rachel to do it but she wasn't very trusting of a wild animal. I cannot imagine Bella enjoying that either. She would have been a little intimidated I'm sure!

In China, even on Saturday and Sunday kids are in school. There were large groups of elementary kids at the safari zoo in uniform. They would yell "Hello!" to us and wave then laugh when you greeted them back. Several older Chinese school girls wanted their picture made with little blond headed Evan but he would have no part of it. We did notice we were the exhibit being photographed on many occasions. That feels very strange and esoecially when the photographer turns around from right ahead of you to snap a shot. We just tried to ignore it. One man did walk right up to Rachel to see her blue eyes. He made a gesture with his hands like "bright." Just a little awkward.

We ended our day with dinner...at Lucy's again. Bela was loud and giggly. We videoed her eating spaghetti which is something to see. She can attack a plate of noodles. She and Dale ended with a milkshake. She sucked it down and ended with a smack and an "Ahhhhhh!" She and Dale sing an ice cream song too. They are so funny together.

Our bonds are growing closer. She plays and wanrs to receive and give love to each of us. Working through the language barrier is not easy. We have all had our moments of disciplining her. We habe seen her cry over discipline twice now. Rachel got on to Bella at the safari zoo while we waited to see a white tiger show. Bella tried hard to win but she was no match for big sister's commands. It was evident Bella knew full well she was not obeying when sissy told her not to stand on the seats to dance, but she wanted to be in charge. Rachel won and sat Bella down in the seat between us. Bella's mouth turned into a frown and tears rolled down her cheeks. Her feelings were hurt. She sat in my lap and I consoled her until the show started. Later at dinner she was banging her phone on the bar of the stroller. It's an old phone and after being dropped a couple of times it already had a crack and won't make it much longer. We are just praying it lasts from Hong Kong to Chicago! Rachel told her "no" which is universal for "no" and Bella did it over again. Rachel gave her a couple more tries and she finally took Bella's so gee away. Again, the sad face and tears. They made up a few ,unites later.

Overall, Bella's adapting very well. God has richly blessed us with her. We are anxious to get home and into our normal routines with her. We miss you all!

A different kind of World Market

Yesterday we went to a local market. It was huge and people were selling everything imaginable to make medicinal teas. We saw live scorpions in ever size, large bags of red skins off peanuts, ciadia shells (not sure that's right but its the bug shells on trees in the early spring), every kind of root, seahorses, fish scales...you name it they have it. It smelled like a mixture of dead fish, onions and animal excrement. Lily pointed out several things for the common cold, toothaches, headaches, etc. She would say, "You make tea and it very nice for ___." We have never seen anything like it for sure.

They also had a pet market. They even had a cage full of chipmunks. I wondered if they were truly pets or if this was the local fresh meat market for dinner. I'm thinking that one of those chipmunks could have been the tiny animal we ate at the chinese restaurant. There were lots of stores selling very nice aquariums and pans with of all kinds of fish lined the sidewalks. Lily said people really enjoy aquariums in China.

We walked on and ended up in a mall. People have tiny stores where they sell their good. It was sort of like a flea market at home. Inside there was a wholesale pearl market which was very interesting. We saw more pearls there than we've seen in our lifetimes. There were eight people with huge buckets of pearls they were putting on strands for $1,000. Lily said it was a very good price. They had all kinds, shapes, colors and sizes. Dale bought Rachel a beautiful ring and me some very pretty earrings.

While there Lily told us that Chinese women traditionally have only three pieces of jewelry. Dale looked at me and said, "Well, aren't you lucky." I certainly am! Lily has a necklace with a jade pendant her mom gave her when she was very young, a bracelet from her husband and another from her son. Costume jewlery and wedding rings are not Chinese traditions.

There is also a jade market in the mall area. We may venture back over that way and pray we don't get lost. We went down several alleys and saw row after row of those dried creatures and roots before we made it there. I'm taking a card from our hotel so we can get a taxi and hope we make it back!



Medical clinic followed by a trip to the city zoo

We went back to the clinic to have Bella's TB test completed. It was fine and although the clinic was very busy again, our visit didn't take but 15 minutes. After leaving there Lily took us to the city zoo, helped us purchase tickets then left us there for a couple of hours while she went to the US Embassy for us. It's 80 degrees and very little breeze so we were in shorts. The Chinese are still wearing long pants, long sleeves and layers. Being the only Americans there and appearing half dressed, we were as much a spectacle as the animals. People stared and pointed. At first that was okay but it soon became a bit uncomfortable if not annoying. However, there was a group of school children, probably at least 200 of them who would all say "Hello" to us when we got to exhibits with them. They also had rides there and Dale rode one mid-size roller coaster with Bella. She wanted to ride another so we bought tickets. Apparently, each ride had it own ticket booth and ours were not good there. We never were able to figure out how to get tickets to ride. Bella was fine with that because she enjoys the stroller a local store owner loaned us as much as any ride. We call it her chariot as she enjoys pointing directions and playing music as she rides.

Several times Bella had to potty and there were only two pottys one near the front and another near the back. In China it's customary to let kids squat whereever they are and potty. We did that several times. Oh how Rachel and I miss American toilets. I thank whoever intented the toilet seat because squatting over a hole in the floor is not my idea of fun. We did see several small kids with slits in their pants from knee all the way up then to the other knee. That made it very simple for them to squat and do their business then keep on moving.

For dinner we walked to Lucy's again. I ordered spaghetti and Bella went nuts for it as soon as it came. It was a huge dish and she ate at least three-fourths of it. They weren't kidding when they said she loves noodles. Lucy is taking us to a noodle restaurant today. Bella won't be able to contain herself!

I had to get stern with Bella last evening because she wanted to drip her chocolate ice cream. I made her sit down. We aren't friends now. She's ignored me the rest of the night. But she did sleep with Dale all night for the first time. As I've been typing this morning she's gotten up to potty. She pretended I wasn't here as she walked past and has now crawled back in bed with Rachel. We have a room with two beds slightly larger than twins plus a blow up mattress. I'm on the blow up and find it's the most comfortable spot of all.

Today I think will be very interesting. We're going to an open market where they sell all kinds of dried insects and plants they make tea from. We're also going to the pearl and the jade markets. We'll be sure to have the card in the camera today (left it in the computer on the zoo visit) and I'll let you know how it goes with both text and pictures.

By the way, our VPN is only working on the laptop consistently. We aren't able to do much to get access on our phones. It it improves we can communicate more directly.

Good gifts

I can't sleep. It's almost 4:00am here in China. The room is quiet except For the sounds of Dale, Rachel and Bella breathing. The events of the last few days keep rolling through my mind. I never imagined it would be anything like this. Of course, I had no frame of reference for this experience either. Each day has been full of pleasant surprises and new learnings about Bella and also about ourselves.

I keep thinking about Matthew 7:11 which reads, "If you then, although you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more then will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!" As a parent, I have a new understanding of this verse and the power of asking God for a bounty of blessings. We prayed everyday for Bella's heart to be soft toward us and for God to prepare her to be a part of our family. He ABUNDANTLY AND BEYOND, answered our prayer.

Last night as we walked back to our hotel after dinner, Bella rode on her Daddy's shoulders for the fifth or sixth time. She trusts him more and more each time and holds on more loosely than before. I'm watching this when she looks at me and smiles then says "I love you" so sweetly. We barely understand a word one another says but we know we love each other. At that moment it was almost as if God said, this, like salvation, is an example of a "good gift" I can give. He can mold our hearts. We, who are evil, no matter how much money or power we have can save ourselves nor perform that miraculous work on the human heart. Those surely are good gifts. We have commented over and over about how God has blessed us with her. God is SO good!

Day 2 - Adoption Certificate and the city park

Bella is sleeping with Rachel and will have it no other way. Last night she had nightmares at least three times. She would cry and flail her arms as if she was being hurt. It made Rachel cry to see her that way. But this morning she woke up happy and smiling. In fact, she has not cried since we left the civil affairs building on Gotcha Day. What a blessing.

This morning at breakfast we met two other families. One was from Baltimore and the other from Sweden. It was great to speak english for a while without having to use hand gestures and minimal words. The couple from Sweden left today but we hope to see the Baltimore folks again before they leave on Friday.

We met Lily at 3:00 and went to the Guangzhou Security Center where we received our official adoption certificate. There were several other families there for the same process. It is interesting to see how different all of the families and the children are. Our Bella would definitely be one of the most outgoing of them all. She is full of smiles and giggles and just has a presence about her whereever she goes.

After we left there Lily offered to take us to a public park where Bella could play. It was off the bank of the pearl river and was a beautiful place. The trees were unbelieveably huge and looked to be a thousand years old. There were several rides for small children which Bella had to herself and rode There was also area with all kinds of exercise equipment, jungle gym equipment, ping pong tables and large spaces for some kind of game similar to hackeysack. It was working alive with people. We were the only American's we saw in the whole place. Some people greeted us warmly, others simply stared and made no facial expressions. It was nice but we did feel out of place.

Our language barrier with Bella is a little better today. She definitely understands some things we say and she repeats much of what we say whether we ask her to or not. She knows what "no" means but seems to enjoy pretending she doesn't. Haha! She's a pistol!

Dale and Bella bonded well today. He wrestled with her until she couldn't catch her breath from giggling so much. She thinks he's a big play toy for her to enjoy or abuse. If she's mean to him Rachel gets bowed up pretty quickly at her and scolds her. Bella just giggles as if she's saying, "I was just kidding!"  Then she gives that smile and we all laugh even if we have to turn our heads when we do.

She randomly looks at us and gives kisses and will say "I love you" without prompting. It's unbelieveable. The work God can do with the human heart is truly amazing. His love is evidenced for us daily in this adventure.

Here are some pictures from today: